A new friend

Lets begin by writing a bit about the past. ... Here it goes:  My mother had a affair with a married man. I have a half sister (2) and a half brother that is 4 mos older then I am. I never knew my father or his family. My mother met a man when I was 3 years old. There was a issue about me being from another man or it could be that I didn't like him and cried to much. Not sure why I was given to my grandmother but the fact is my grandmother raised me and thankful she did. I remember looking through the white pages (no internet in those days) and calling every J Rice asking if he was my father. I guess I just wanted to know where the other half of my creation came from. My mother had her own family to raise and she came to visit but, alas not to see me but to see my grandparents.

At 15 yrs old, my uncle was reading the paper when he mentioned a J Rice. Now thinking about it, I think they knew it was my father but didnt know how to tell me.  The next day I called the funeral home and asked them for my fathers phone number or should say his wives number to make sure it was him.  I closed my bedroom door and made that call with shaking hands.  I clearly remember apologizing for calling but that I was wondering if this was the J Rice... I didnt finish because she asked .. If I was Yvonne.  It was my father and for the second time in my life I was going to see him face to face but he wouldnt be able to respond back... he was dead.

I met his kids and one of them didnt like me (the youngest) but, I understood and was okay with it all. after they buried my father I wanted to get to know them but his wife asked me to stay away because it was just to much for the kids. I respected her wishes. I stayed away for 5 yrs and I went back to her home because I had written a letter wanting to get to know my siblings. A man answered the door said he lived there and was Toni's roommate. I asked him if he could please give the letter to her. I never heard back. I guess I just wanted to know about my dad and they were the only ones who had the answers to my questions. I left them alone.

The computer world came into existance and I started researching, looking for each sibling.  I would give up for years and look again.  Then just recently I started googling and found them. One on facebook. I was excited yet scared that I would be rejected again. I wrote to Ruth because she was the nicest to me from all 3. I didnt hear back for awhile and I think I sent it knowing it could go either way.  She will respond in a good way or not at all. A chance I was willing to take.  She lives in my hometown and we havent really talked just a few emails back and forth. I wrote Wade but, to this day he hasnt responded which is okay. Ronda who I least expected to be nice is the most surprising of all. I truly believe we will be good friends. Will continue tomorrow... tired and its late..